Label Instructions
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping."
(and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos:
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."
(the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial
soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson
frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu
dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks &
Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
(and you thought????...)
On packaging for
a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children
Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this
medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could
just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep
Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands
of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese
food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's
peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American
Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman
costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
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Submitted by Diedrea White
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